Thursday, 30 October 2014

‘SOUL’ does it really exists

The soul, in many religious, philosophical, psychological, and mythological traditions, is the incorporeal and, in many conceptions, immortal essence of a person, living thing, or object. 
As per the general explanation given by many enlightened people, At the time of death, the soul discards the body the way we discard an old  garment. At the time of rebirth it assumes a new one. Between death and rebirth it may either go to a heaven or a hell depending upon its previous deeds, but once the fruit of its previous karma is exhausted, it would definitely come back to earth. According to Hinduism, the soul exists in all beings, including plants and animals. Even the mineral world is not devoid of the Supreme Spirit. "He exists in all and all exist in Him." The whole universe is thus very sacred, pervaded by the Universal Self. The beings as well as the elements are in a continuous state of evolution and the souls that reside in them move through the cycle of births and deaths till they attain union with the Supreme Soul. This is in short the concept of soul according to Hinduism. There are more or less , similar explanations purported by different religions of the world. Since, all religions are based on beliefs and faith, why not we have a different view regarding the existing of a “soul” or its non existence. I started thinking about it , and the resultant hypothesis is as under:

Our birth starts from a single cell called zygote or fertilized egg (result of the union of human egg and sperm). Cell division begins approximately 24 to 36 hours after conception. Within just a few hours after conception, the singe-celled zygote begins making a journey down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it will begin the process of cell division and growth. The zygote first divides into two cells, then into four, eight, sixteen, and so on eventually billions of cells. Once the eight cell point has been reached, the cells begin to differentiate and take on certain characteristics that will determine the type of cells they will eventually become. As the cells multiply, they will also separate into two distinctive masses: the outer cells will eventually become the placenta while the inner cells will form the embryo. And so on and so forth the development goes on, till the baby is delivered . What , I understand , after studying all this, is , in simplified terms , a new life is born, with the mating of two cells, and those two cells which carry all the chromosomes and DNA are merged into one(cell), and then multiply many times , until it takes the shape of a baby, with the help of nutrients supplied by the uterus. Chromosomes are thread-like structures located inside the nucleus of animal and plant cells. Each chromosome is made of protein and a single molecule of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). Passed from parents to offspring, DNA contains the specific instructions that make each type of living creature unique. Its all a bio-chemical process or growth. For me its just like a chemical reaction ,for eg., hydrogen mixing with oxygen ,in ideal conditions,  becoming water. Of course, in a chemical reaction, the elements can be separated/reversed , but not in a bio-chemical process like our Birth, or a seed growing into a tree, etc.,  Its  irreversible.  And the new born baby , has the genetical features of the donors/parents of sperm and egg.

Now, in all this process, where does the soul fit in, I am unable to understand. Our scriptures say that , the soul is eternal and takes birth in another after the body dies. Whereas , a new birth takes place, with the fertilization of egg and sperm, into a single cell called ‘zygote’ or fertilized egg. Then, How, the so called “SOUL” hanging around somewhere, omnipresent and omnipotent, enters the zygote, which is already a living and having a life of its own, and having its own genetic map, with all its DNA   This is same with all living organism/beings in the nature…..plants, animals, etc.,   Then the thought comes, Ok, then  what about when the being is dead or “ life” goes out  of an organism.. plant, animal or for that matter humans.?  
Our body is constantly replacing old cells with new ones at the rate of millions per second. By the time you finish reading this sentence, 50 million of your cells will have died and been replaced by others. Some are lost through 'wear and tear', some just reach the end of their life, and others deliberately self-destruct. The life cycle of every cell is carefully controlled, so we  always have just the right number of each type of cell, to be living. Death occurs, when this balance is tripped, beyond repair. Since life began with a single cell, does that mean, each cell has a ‘soul’ (The ’soul’ of the cell is its DNA!). If so, when cell dies , as seen in the above explanation, the ‘soul’ of the dead cell goes into the new cell! If,  that is correct, then we are a house for a million of ‘souls’ .  When a ‘being’  is dead, then millions of souls are ’ released ‘ so to say, in search of taking birth, in a new ‘being’.
Religious experts, say, that , these things are subtle things, and cannot be grasped by ordinary mortals. Why?  I think, Buddhist, explanation of Karma and re-birth , may be of later developments, after many years of Buddha’s Nirvana.  Their explanation is different. According to Buddhists, There is no permanent substance of the nature of Self or Soul (Atman)  that reincarnates or transmigrates. It is impossible to conceive of anything that continues without change. All is in state of flux. What we call life here is the functioning of the mind and body, which are energies or forces.. They are never the same for two consecutive moments and in a conflux of mind and body we do not see anything permanent. The grown up man is neither the child nor quite a different person; there  is only a relationship of continuity. The conflux of mind and body or mental and physical energy is not lost at death, for no force or energy is ever lost. It undergoes change. It resets, reforms in new conditions. This is called rebirth or re-becoming.
Karmic process is the energy that out of a present life conditions a future life, in unending sequence. In this process there is nothing that passes or transmigrates from one life to another. It is only a movement that continues unbroken. The ‘Being’ who passes away here and takes birth elsewhere, is neither the same person nor a totally different one.
There is the last moment of consciousness belonging to the immediately previous life; immediately next, upon the cessation of that consciousness, but conditioned by it, there arises the first moment of consciousness of the present birth, which is called a relinking or re-birth-consciousness. Similarly, the last thought-moment in this life conditions, the first thought- moment , in the next. In this way consciousness comes into being and passes away , yielding place to new consciousness. Thus , this perpetual stream of consciousness goes on until existence ceases. Existence in a way is consciousness—the will to live, to continue.

Finally, why do we want , to know , what happens to life , after death? Are we afraid of our doings or actions, that we think morally wrong? How does it matter, now, to live a  Life meaningfully and minimalistically, not destroying our environment/Nature that has given birth to us, spreading love and peace,  around you? Why fear, the after life, for that matter life after death? Does it really matter. For the present living?

 If so, Why? Why????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
 जिंदगी पल-पल ढलती है, 
जैसे रेत मुट्टी से फिसलती है .....
शिकवें कितने भी हो हर पल, 
फिर भी हंसते रेहना.....
कियंकी ये जिंदगी जैसा भी है ,
बस एक बार मिलती है . 

हम और हमरे ईश्वर ,
दोनों एक जैसे है ,
वो हमारी गलतियों को ,
हम उसकी मेहरबानियों को .

गलथियों से जुदा 
तू भी नहीं 
मै भी नहीं ,

दोनो इंसान है,
खुदा थू भी नहीं,
मै भी नहीं......

थू मुझे , और मै तुझे,
इल्जाम देते है मगर ,
अपने अंदर झंक्ता 
तु भी नहीं ,
मै भी नहीं.......!!!

गलथ फ़ेमियों ने कर ढी
दोनों में पैदा दूरियान ,
वर्ना फितरत का बुरा 
तू भी नहीं,
मै भी नहीं......!!!

एक पत्तर सिर्फ एक बार मन्दिर जता है ,
और भगवान बन जाता है ---
इंसान हर रोज मन्दिर जाता है ,
फिर भी पत्थर ही रेहते है... !! 
(Think it is Kabir's doha)

Love is another quality frequently , we ascribed to God. This love is not to be confused with what generally passes for love in our world, which, more often than not, has its origins in the same materialist mindset that runs many other areas of our lives. We believe that if only other people would think or behave as we want them to, we would be happy. When they don’t, we may find ourselves feeling upset, angry, frustrated, or some other less-than-loving emotion. When we meet someone who we think will satisfy our deeper needs, someone who matches our image of the perfect person — our hearts are filled with warm feelings towards them. We say we love them. Such love is conditional. 

We love a person for their appearance, their manner, their intellect, their body, their talents, their smell, their dress, their habits, their beliefs and values. We love someone whom we feel is special; someone who matches our expectations, someone who will satisfy our deeper needs, someone who will make our life complete. Such love is also fragile. If the other person gains weight, develops some annoying habit, or does not care for us as we think they should, our judgements can flip from positive to negative, and the love vanish as quickly as it came. 

The love of which the mystics speak is a very different form of love. It is an unconditional love, a love that does not depend on another’s attributes or actions. It is not based on our wants, needs, hopes, fears, or any other manifestation of the ego’s thought system. Unconditional love is the love that springs forth when the mind has fallen silent, and for once we are free....
GOING Within

In every moment We have a choice as to how we see a situation. We can see it through eyes caught in the materialist mindset that worries whether or not we are  going to get what we think will make us happy. Alternatively, we can choose to see it through eyes free from this thought system.

But it is not always easy to make that choice. Once We’ve been caught by a fearful perception, We’re seldom aware there could even be another way of seeing things. We think our reality is the only reality. Sometimes, however, We recognise there could be another way of seeing things, but We don’t know what it is. We can’t make the shift on our own; We need help. But where to go for help? Other people are as likely to be caught in the same thought system as we are. 

The place to go for help is deep within, to that level of consciousness that lies beyond the materialistic mindset-to the God within or what ever.  We have to pray.

Praying means not asking for divine intervention by an external God. It is praying to the divine presence within, to our true Self. Moreover, we should not pray for the world to be different than it is. We    pray for a different perception of the world. We are asking for divine intervention where it really counts — in the mindsets that govern our thinking…. Invariably, We find our fears and judgements drop away. In their place is a sense of ease arises. Whoever or whatever was troubling us, We now see through more loving and compassionate eyes.
(Sourced from Speakingtree.timesofindia)
12 Things That Marriage Is Not:

1. Marriage is not for sissies. It's hard work.
2. Marriage is not about getting what you want all the time. It's not a dictatorship. It's  not wanting to win all the time because that would mean the other person would lose all the time. May be OK for you. Not good for the marriage.
3. Marriage is not rocket science. The principles it's based on are really pretty simple. Kindness. Respect. Loyalty. That kind of thing.
4. Marriage is not unfashionable. It stays vital. Even Brangelina must think so.
5. Marriage is not in and of itself stimulating. Since you are with the same person over a long time, the two of you can get in a rut. You have to keep things fresh.
6. Marriage is not about collecting things. The joys of marriage aren't tangible. You live them. That's what makes them so very special.
7. Marriage is not for the impatient. Some of the best stuff takes a while to develop. You have to stick around to find that out.
8. Marriage is not the place for criticism. For abuse. If it is found there, it will ruin any chance of true intimacy or trust and dissolve the hope that once might have existed.
9. Marriage is not a 24-hour repair shop. Your marital partner is not supposed to meet your every need. Some of those needs you may have to take care of yourself. Through your friendships or other activities.
10. Marriage is not self-sustaining. It does not thrive on its own. If all you focus on is the kids, you are making a mistake.
11. Marriage is not boring. Two lives woven together can be quite exciting! There's just something about watching someone very different from you, living their life in an extremely different way. Up close and personal. You learn from that.
12. Marriage is not without conflict. Knowing how to disagree and work through anger and disappointment is probably the key to lots of stuff going well. Getting to that cooperating, mentioned in #2.

12 Things That Marriage Is:
1. Marriage is the potential for an intense, deep and diverse intimacy. Sexual. Emotional. Relational.
2. Marriage is knowing someone has your back. Always. You have theirs. It's about interdependence.
3. Marriage is realizing that you have been seen in your worst times, and that you are still loved. There's an overriding sense of gratitude and security.
4. Marriage is sharing old jokes. Or some story that may be told over and over but it still makes you laugh 'til you are left gasping for breath.
5. Marriage is getting teary-eyed together.
6. Marriage is thinking about the other one not being there anymore. And not being able to think about it.
7. Marriage is getting irritated by the things that always irritate you. Have irritated you for 24 years. Will irritate you for 24 more. And tolerating it because it is way overbalanced by the good stuff.
8. Marriage is not being able to wait to get home to share some little something.
9. Marriage is wishing you were the one having the operation. Or the illness. Not him.
10. Marriage is sometimes fighting. Trying to slowly learn to fight more fairly. To apologize. To listen. To learn. To find resolution.
11. Marriage is about vulnerability. Giving someone the right to hurt or disappoint you. While simultaneously giving that someone the opportunity to bring you tremendous joy and laughter.

12. Marriage is a promise. A vow. To try the hardest you have ever tried in your life. Marriage is a place for the achievement of a personal integrity like no other.
Source : Huffington Post

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Why do many of us feel that something or someone exists that will make us more joyful, BETTER or complete? Why do we imagine that some knowledge, understanding or mystical experience can magically cure our 'unsatisfactory' state of being? What about our longing and 'need' to have a partner or close friend to share our life with in order not to feel alone or incomplete? 

In fact, why do we 'yearn' for anything at all… ever? 

ALL experiences, including the yearning itself, are bridges on the journey of discovery to know THYSELF. Even the physical desire we have for others is really our desire we have for ourselves, to know ourselves intimately, reflected back. 

The beauty, strength, compassion, knowledge and love we do not access within ourselves we seek out and try to experience through others/things… yet EVERYTHING is a reflection of the SELF. Smile and the mirror smiles back. The mirror doesn't smile and you follow. 

Keep that analogy in mind

ALL of our perceived shortcomings and inadequacies are nothing but a lie; a product of our EGO born out of a false belief system(s); All we think is 'wrong' with ourselves and each other is nothing more than an elaborate deception. 

More to the point, EVERYBODY is right now, always was and forever will be PERFECT. 

Now, let's begin unraveling how this is so…

We think or feel inadequate/superior when we compare and measure 'ourselves' against someone else or when we utilize a 'belief system' in order to get our identity and self worth from (always in comparison/paradigm, btw). 

This line of thinking/existing is LITERALLY delusional and only causes SUFFERING. 

Let's start with a fundamental...

We are ALL unique in our own way. We experience reality through our own personal and completely distinctive way because of, and through, our individual and totally unique history of experiences. We all utilize our individual senses/ perceptions and experience reality in the precise way we CHOOSE to experience reality. And that is the foundation of HAVING a life; so we can have our OWN personal experiences; and to learn and evolve at our own respective speed. 

So how does comparing your totally unique self and your distinct personal set of experiences against someone else's make any sense? No two snowflakes are alike and neither are any two people (and that is the point of EXPERIENCE itself). So why compare at all? And for what purpose does comparison serve?

Let's keep drilling down…

How does the comparing and measuring of 'one vs another' work, so to speak? Your EGO buys into and participates within the false belief system of MATERIALISM and its concept of 'success'. There are many layers to this false belief system (and many other false belief systems) but 'the more I have the more I am' is the foundation of Materialism. What we look like, how much money we have, our possessions and social status are all intertwined into this psychopathic belief system. And it's how many of us lead our lives, get our identity from and measure are self worth. In fact, this destructive belief system tells us that we are ONLY worthy of love if we are 'successful.'

Remember, the ego is never satisfied and will do anything to perpetuate its existence so this battle truly is the proverbial marathon and not a sprint. And that marathon can literally be tens of thousands of years within the cycle of rebirth and death. But the good news is you have to BUY INTO this delusion (or any delusion for that matter) for it have a hold of you.

Let's back up for one minute, though. 

The questions we must ask is, 'why does the false belief system of Materialism exist in the first place'? 

To introduce and perpetuate the idea that we are innately 'less' than; so we compete and take advantage of one another in pursuit of some delusional ideal of success in order to feel and be perceived as worthy (or not 'less' than). The fact that you have to do ANYTHING or achieve (within the confines of materialism) in order not to be considered 'less' than is insane… And the next step down from 'less than' is to simply be 'worthless.'

Understand that BEING is Cosmic Energy. It is present in the whole Multiverse. The moment you separate (BEING) and search for a meaning duality comes in to existence and all meaning becomes individualized (ego)… And therefore, ultimately, all 'solutions' to perceived 'problems' are not only futile but neither a solution nor a problem actually exists (we will discuss this more soon).

There is nothing 'wrong' with anyone. Ever. It's impossible. We give ourselves challenges to work with so we can experience, learn and evolve in every way possible. And that is the point; To Experience In Every Way Possible. Which is why our Creator created us; for IT to experience, learn and evolve all that IT can - through US (and other beings).

When viewed from that perspective how could anything ever be 'wrong' with you/me/us?

Our essence, our divine spark, our soul is perfection itself. This world was created for us to experience, learn and evolve…Individually and collectively, separately and together, all at once and all at our own speed, paradoxically. 

We are, always have been and forever will be PERFECT. What else could we be? It's only through erroneously adopting a (false) belief system and letting our ego lead our life could we possibly 'believe' we are anything but PERFECTION. 

Pure LOVE/COMPASSION is our identity, our true self, our divine and cosmic BEINGNESS.

All we 'experience', learn' and 'evolve' into…is what we ALREADY ARE sans our ignorance covering it up. ALL knowledge, compassion and joy ALREADY EXISTS WITHIN YOU.   

The only measure of success (and success is defined by not needing to continue the cycle of birth and rebirth) is to live your life in LOVE; to ENJOY and create JOY; to be COMPASSIONATE towards yourself and others; And to access the INDOMITABLE strength within yourself and therefore providing an example for others. 

So, how do we do live our life like that?

Simple… just free your MIND and open your HEART… let go of all belief systems, constructs and ideologies… and what remains?


(An article from Speaking Tree, which expresses , almost my views)

Tuesday, 28 October 2014




Hate exists with the past and the future -- love needs no past, no future. Love exists in the present. Hate has a reference in the past: somebody abused you yesterday and you are carrying it like a wound, a hangover. Or you are afraid that somebody is going to abuse you tomorrow -- a fear, a shadow of the fear. And you are already getting ready, you are getting prepared to encounter it.

Hate exists in the past and the future. You cannot hate in the present -- try, and you will be utterly impotent. Try it today: sit silently and hate somebody in the present, with no reference to the past or the cannot do it. It cannot be done; in the very nature of things it is impossible. Hate can exist only if you remember the past: this man did something to you yesterday -- then hate is possible. Or this man is going to do something tomorrow -- then too hate is possible. But if you don't have any reference to the past or the future -- this man has not done anything to you and he is not going to do anything to you, this man is just sitting there -- how can you hate? But you can love.

Love needs no reference -- that's the beauty of love and the freedom of love. Hate is a bondage. Hate is imprisonment -- imposed by you upon yourself. And hate creates hate, hate provokes hate. If you hate somebody you are creating hate in that person's heart for yourself. And the whole world exists in hate, in destructiveness, in violence, in jealousy, in competitiveness. People are at each other's throats either in reality, actuality, in action, or at least in their minds, in their thoughts, everybody is murdering, killing. That's why we have created a hell out of this beautiful earth -- which could have become a paradise.

Time & Intent

I didn’t find / have /  time to do a particular act/activity/work etc!

Often we hear this phrase in our daily lives at home or at office or at any other work place . Actually what does anyone  mean by’ “I didn’t find / have /  TIME to do a particular act/activity/work etc!”

 If we go deep into it and examine, you realize that, the real thing is not the ‘Enough Time’ to do the job or activity or whatever it is (Most of the times), but, it is the ‘INTENT’. It is the INTENT that drives one to do things. When you observe, you find that,  we do have sufficient time to do things we like /intent or the things which interest us, even staying awake late into nights and with extra efforts, and we don’t even complain about the amount of time spent on a particular task. What I observed is that,  When Intention is right, things get done, otherwise not. So think twice examine yourself, before saying ” I didn’t have time” the next time , when someone asks you , for a particular thing or work or a job to be done . Is it really the “TIME” at your hand that was scarce or the “INTENT” was lacking in the first place. 

Simple Steps to reach your Goal

To achieve whatever you want or aim , the first thing you have to have is a “desire” for it. Unless you have the desire , you don’t move ahead towards it. Simply desiring is not enough, then it is like day dreaming about something, like 'I want to become an IAS officer or Business Magnate or an athlete, etc.,' That DESIRE of yours should be backed by “WILL” or “Volition”. So, the DESIRE has to be backed by the willingness of the individual to do the hard work etc., to move towards his/her aim. Will of an individual is the “Engine” to move forward in the direction of ones aim/goal.  

After the Desire and Will, the next important step for moving ahead in the direction of ones aim/goal etc., is “Planning” or the “Path”. If there isn’t proper planning or steps , then one will not move ahead. So we have to have a proper plan/ schedule for reaching the desired result and one has to stick to it methodically or religiously.

After Planning comes the important step of “Implementation” of the plan, i.e., you are moving from the drawing board to the actual work. Here, Perseverance , plays a very important role, because, initially, one may face difficulties or failures or hindrances in the moving ahead according to the plans and achieve the desired results. One has to persevere with the task and have an attitude of “never give up”. If on the way , one notices some discrepancy in the processes, one should change it and go ahead, instead of stubbornly stick to the plan formulated in the beginning / planning stage. That means , you should have some flexibility.

With a firm Desire backed by a strong Will, with proper planning and implementing your plans with perseverance , you can reach your aim, successfully. All the four - Desire, Will, Planning and Implementation are interdependent on each other, and important each in its own way.

Another most important point is that whatever you want to achieve or is your aim/goal, it should be realistic in nature, based on ones inherent capacities and capabilities. For eg., if one suddenly decides that , he will compete in a Marathon than , it’s not a realistic aim/goal.  Always aim a little bit higher than what you think , you can achieve.

Following these simple steps, one can achieve his/her aims and objectives—whether is studies, or in other fields of life, or whatever one aims in Life.
Select a work or aim that you enjoy doing it, otherwise , it will become stressfull.

Prayer & Meditation

Prayer is a duality because it is a dialogue between you and an imaginary God, but still a dialogue. In prayer you are again desiring, asking to be forgiven for your sins, to be rewarded. Your prayer is a demand; you are a beggar when you are praying. And the prayer is based on the idea of God, and God is nothing but a projection of the human mind. God is anthropocentric. The Bible says God created man in his own image. The truth is just the contrary: man has created God in his own image. Your God simply represents you, your ambitions, your ideals. Your God is a projection of your mind. It is easy to talk about God, and it is easy to be understood when you talk about God; it is easy to talk about prayer, and easy to be understood when you talk about prayer, because everybody is living on that plane.
Buddha talks about meditation, not about prayer. Prayer has no place in his vision. Buddha never talks about God because he knows perfectly well that God has been manufactured by man either out of fear or out of greed; that God is the greatest desire of man and it is because of God that man remains in bondage, never becomes a light unto himself, always remains a beggar, dependent, a slave.
Buddha wants you to become emperors, not beggars. He wants you to be free of all projections -- God, paradise, the other world, all are included in your projections. Buddha wants you to get rid of mind itself, because that is what meditation is all about: entering into the world of no-mind.


Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.[1] The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. 

Individuals may marry for several reasons, including: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious.
(the above is taken from Wikipedia)

Marriage and Family are matters of Commitment and Integrity, rather than contract and convenience.(Stephen covey)
What  Marriage is,  basically or fundamentally, requires , to absorb the rigors and ups and downs of relationship , is -- with capital letters is- COMMITMENT, whether it is a arranged marriage or Love marriage. If Commitment is lacking, then , it is as brittle as GLASS. We are committed to our work, to our God ,to parents, to our children, to our siblings, to our friends, sometimes , even to strangers etc., all our life,  mostly, even when everything goes topsy turvy. But, when it comes to – Marriage- I am unable understand , why this same commitment dwindle like the Ice glaciers. In Love marriages, people marry, after a considerable period of courtship and weighing each other , according to their likes and dislikes. Generally, it starts as an innocuous friendship, and if everything is fine, for a considerable period , slowly, it changes to Love and then marriage. But, in an arranged marriages, this advantage is not there. It starts , to say it harshly, with the physical union/love.  It is the union of two souls or spirits, to say. After , that , slowly the bond , strengthens , love grows beyond physicality, and marriages endure. My, question is , why the same commitment is not being shown for keeping marriage live, as it is shown , in other relationships, as mentioned above. We sort out differences with parents, friends, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, etc., why not with spouses? Many , say , it is because of blood relationships, etc., But in a marriage, you have become one, two souls coming together. It’s not, ONLY,  the physicality of the union. It’s much beyond it.  Only, when you are deeply in love , that continues. Otherwise , it breaks , within 1-2 years. I can’t understand or perceive, how people , after continuing in a marriage for more than 15 or 20 years, go for separation. If there is fundamentally wrong , with any one, the bond should have broken within  a couple of years, not after 15 to 20 years. What happened to the foundation of the relationship of so many years.  Was it so brittle! Were they treading on glass floor , all these years. I think, the Basic nature of the person will be the same , as it was at the time of the marriage.

 And coming to Love, I like what Mr. Scott Peck said in his famous Book—The Road less travelled. I quote: The Desire to love is not itself Love….. Love is an act of Will- namely, , an Intention and an action. Will also implies- Choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. No Matter, how much we may think, we are loving, if we are in fact not loving, it is because , we have chosen not to love and therefore do not love, despite our good intentions.

For Any, Successful Marriage, any successful family , it takes work. It is not a matter of accident, it is a matter of achievement.(Stephen Covey)
Is it that , there are choices available easily, now, than earlier , the reason for break ups !  In any relationship between two individuals , differences of opinion will be there. That is natural. One has to find ways to sort out or live with it, if they are not so big , that cohabiting is difficult. The thing with this generation is , they have immediate choices as they are all financially independent. Some of them , apply for Divorce at the drop of hat and for silly reasons and have no patience and don’t give a second chance. Ofcourse ,I am not saying that , if two people cannot adjust completely and cohabitate , have to continue in that relationship. But, I am of the opinion, that almost every problem has a solution , if two keep their egos aside and see each other perceptions.                                                  
Lastly a Quote: If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

Boring or Boredom

In recent times, one of the most frequent word , I am hearing, especially from children is – I am Bored, I have nothing to do, its Boring, etc.,. Even from adults also , who are retired , or when they have holidays for a couple of days , continuously. Children always say, its boring, if they get a couple of hours free time, at home . In their free time, they are invariably ,on the computer or TV or go for a movie, with friends.

Actually , what causes boredom in individuals? When you, see the definitions, it is an emotional state experienced when an individual is left without anything in particular to do, and not interested in their surroundings. Or Boring is feeling weary and impatient because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one's current activity.

In a learning environment( children), a common cause of boredom is lack of understanding; for instance, if one is not following or connecting to the material in a class or lecture, it will usually seem boring. However, the opposite can also be true; something that is too easily understood, simple or transparent, can also be boring. Boredom is often inversely related to learning, and in school it may be a sign that a student is not challenged enough, or too challenged.

Has the schools or society (Family)  failed our children, miserably, in igniting their minds towards creatively engaging them,  in learning ? Now a days , most of the children, do not show interest, even  in physical games. They can sit hours together and play virtual games on computer ! Is it our failure, i.e., family, society, school?  Or is it that we/I are/am over reacting!  Where are the fault lines situated? Parents are busy , with their own problems of self, office / business etc., and almost, all the families have become, nuclear now. No back up from grandparents etc., as was in the past. Most ,Schools are teaching the subjects, in a mechanical way, without creating or igniting interest in the subjects , they teach to the chidren!

One of the main problem, I see is that , most of the time , we imbibe in the minds of our children , from childhood, to think about the future. All our schools, colleges, families always drive the point from childhood, that , if you study well and get good grades, your future will be bright. Like, you will get good jobs, get good salaries, and can live luxuriously, etc., if you do well in studies. So , children always , have in  their minds,  the future, and they forget to live the moment and enjoy the process of learning. Instead , they see , it(learning) as a means to achieve greater things in future. And ,thus ,  it becomes a burden and a bore. Most of schools and colleges are making or turning the children as  ‘zombies’ or “machines” coming out of “factories”  ! Their is no more,  excitement in learning!

What can we do? Encourage, children to have a hobby of their choice—like art, music, dance, chess etc. Encourage , children , atleast to play one outdoor game. Encourage, children, to Think and create an environment , to develop thinking abilities, on their own, with a little bit of guidance. Encourage children, to live the moment and enjoy the process of learning , not studying. And you too can create and add to the list and help , Banish the "Boredom" from young lives!
What is Buddhism or what Buddha taught to this world

Buddhism in the strictest sense of the word, cannot be called a religion, for if by religion is meant ’action or conduct indicating belief in, reverence for, and desire to please, a divine ruling power ; the exercise or practice of rites or observances implying this….; recognition on the part of man of some higher unseen power as having control of his destiny, and as being entitled to obedience, reverence and worship.
Then , Buddhism  is not certainly such a religion. Then what is Buddhism?

Buddhism is a ‘way of life’. It is a way of moral, spiritual and intellectual training leading to complete freedom of mind.

One of the noteworthy characteristics that distinguishes the Buddha from all other religious teachers is that , he was a human being with no connection whatsoever with a God or any other “Supernatural “ Being.

He was neither a God nor an Incarnation of God, nor any mythological figure. But he was an extraordinary man.

It was Buddha, who for the first time in the world’s history taught that deliverance could be attained independently of an external agency, that deliverance from suffering must be wrought and fashioned by each one for himself upon the anvil of his own actions.

Through personal experience, he understood the supremacy of man, and the found the concept of a ‘Supernatural’ being who rules over the destinies of beings below, is a mere illusion.

The Buddha never claimed to be a savior who tried to save ‘souls’ by means of a revealed religion.Through his own experience and understanding, he proved that infinite possibilities are latent in man and that it must be man’s endeavour to develop and unfold these possibilities.He proved by his own experience that enlightenment and deliverance lie absolutely and entirely in man’s hand.

Being an exponent of the strenuous life by percept and example, the Buddha encouraged his disciples to cultivate self-reliance, thus: ”You are your own refuge, who else could refuge be?” None can grant deliverance to another who merely begs for it. Others may lend us a helping hand indirectly; but nevertheless the highest freedom is attained only through self-realization  self-awakening to Truth. Self-realization can come only to one who is free to think out his /her own problems without let or hindrance.

Each individual should make the appropriate effort and break the shackles that have kept him in bondage, winning freedom from the shackles of existence by perseverance , self-exertion and insight and not through prayers and petitions to a Supreme Being.

The Buddha warns his disciples against shifting the burden to an external agency, a savior, a God or Brahma. The Truth is to be self-realized.

Another distinguishing characteristic is that the Buddha never preserved his supreme knowledge for himself alone. Perfect enlightenment , the discovery and realization of the Four Noble Truths is not the prerogative of a single being chosen by Divine Providence.

Buddha disaaproved the secrecy in teaching the Dhamma. He said ‘Secrecy is the Hall mark of a false doctrine’. He declared the Dhamma freely and equally to all. He kept nothing back, and never wished to extract from his disciples blind faith in him and his teaching. He insisted and encouraged on discriminative examination and intelligent enquiry of the Dhamma.

He said “ As the wise test gold by burning, by cutting it and rubbing it, so are you to accept my words after examining them and not merely out of regard for me”

Buddhism is free from compulsion and coercion and does not demand of the follower blind faith. Buddhism , from beginning to end, is open to all those who have eyes to see and mind to understand. Buddha’s sole intention was to make clear to others that seeing things as they are is not the result of mere belief in, and fear of, some external power, either human, super-human or even infr-human. In the understanding of things, belief and fear do not play any role in Buddhist thought.

The truth of the Dhamma can be grasped only through insight, never through blind faith, or through fear of some unknown or known being.

The history of religions reveals that , it is fear in man, enmeshed in ignorance, which creates the idea of an omnipotent external agency; and once that idea is created, men move in awe of the child of their own fear and work untold harm to themselves, and , at times , to others, too.

Buddha discouraged blind belief, and fear of the omnipotent as unsuitable approaches for understanding the truth, and also denounced adherence to rites and rituals, which do not tend to purify a man, and do not make a man holy and noble.

The Buddha has proclaimed a path, free from all superstition and cruelty i.e., he made it impossible for his followers to behave in any way detrimental to the welfare of living beings, by outlawing all oppression, spoliation and plunder.
In Buddhist thought, there is no awareness or conviction of the existence of a creator of any form who rewards and punishes the good and ill deeds of the creatures of his creation.

For the Buddha, the entire teaching is just the understanding of the unsatisfactory nature of all phenomenal existence and the cultivation of the path leading away from this unsatisfactoriness.

The Buddha was a practical teacher, His sole aim was to explain in all its detail the problem of Dukkha, suffering, the universal fact of life, to make people feel its full force, and to convince them to come out of it.

Reincarnation or Re-birth

Buddha saw reincarnation in a different perspective, different from the existing views .  Buddha said, the so called ‘being’ or ‘individual’ is nothing but a combination of physical and mental forces or ‘energies, a change with continuity.  This psycho-physical organism undergoes incessant changes , creates new psycho-physical  processes, every instant and thus preserves the potentiality for future organic processes and leaves no gap between one moment and the next. We live and die every moment of our lives. It is merely coming into being and passing away, a rise and fall(udaya-vaya) , like the waves of the sea.

This, change of continuity, this psycho-physical process, which is patent to us in this life, does not cease at death but continues incessantly. It is the dynamic mind-flux that is known as will, thirst, desire or craving which constitutes Karmic  energy. This mighty force, will to live, keeps life going. According to Buddhism, it is not only human life, but the entire sentient world that is drawn by this tremendous force- this mind with its mental factors, good or ill.

The present birth is brought  about by the craving and clinging karma-volitions of past births, and craving and clinging acts of will of the present birth, bring about future rebirth.  It should , however remembered that not everything occurs is due to past actions. Many a thing is the result of our own deeds done in this present life and of external causes.

There is no permanent substance of the nature of Self or Soul (Atman)  that reincarnates or transmigrates. It is impossible to conceive of anything that continues without change. All is in state of flux. What we call life here is the functioning of the mind and body, which are energies or forces.. They are never the same for two consecutive moments and in a conflux of mind and body we do not see anything permanent. The grown up man is neither the child nor quite a different person; there  is only a relationship of continuity. The conflux of mind and body or mental and physical energy is not lost at death, for no force or energy is ever lost. It undergoes change. It resets, reforms in new conditions. This is called rebirth or re-becoming.

Karmic process is the energy that out of a present life conditions a future life, in unending sequence. In this process there is nothing that passes or transmigrates from one life to another. It is only a movement that continues unbroken. The ‘Being’ who passes away here and takes birth elsewhere, is neither the same person nor a totally different one.

There is the last moment of consciousness belonging to the immediately previous life; immediately next, upon the cessation of that consciousness, but conditioned by it, there arises the first moment of consciousness of the present birth, which is called a relinking or re-birth-consciousness. Similarly, the last thought-moment in this life conditions, the first thought- moment , in the next. In this way consciousness comes into being and passes away , yielding place to new consciousness. Thus , this perpetual stream of consciousness goes on until existence ceases. Existence in a way is consciousness—the will to live, to continue.

As explained above, the last thought-moment-we call death, and the first thought-moment—we call Birth; thus births and deaths occur in this stream of consciousness, which is only a series of ever continuing thought-moments. And Buddha has taught to this world, how to end this cycle, in a practical way , through his teachings.