Who or what is the ‘I’ in my being
( an humble attempt to
knowing ‘I’)
All our crucial internal
physical process in our body like --
blood circulation, digestion, heart beat, cell functions and divisions, our
physical growth from birth, hunger, thirst, etc. etc., -- functions without any
consent from ‘ME’. Do these functions take instructions from ‘ME’? A BIG NO! when
the body is hungry, or it feels that to pee, the body sends signals to Brain
and ‘I’ act according to its direction. Most of the times ‘I’ act or react to
the body and its senses. From the time “I” got conceived in my mother’s womb, it (All internal body functions)
works completely like an automatic
mechanism. Then , what is the function of “I” in this body ? Who is this ‘I” at
all, in this whole scenario? Whether the “I” is in the body or outside of it? I don’t know. ‘I’ know , ‘I’ exist only
through the senses. When my senses don’t
function, I do not exist, like when I sleep or unconscious. Sense’s by itself
does not mean anything , they need the ‘Mind’ to receive the data it sees or
receives, to comprehend. So, if one has
functional senses and don’t have a mind, then also it seems one does not exist.
Its funny, isn’t it. So , in all ‘Mind’ is the key .
And, Mind is related to brain. Most people do not find any difference between
the two words ‘mind’ and ‘brain’. Most scientists and thinkers believe that the
brain and the mind are one and cannot be separated. Most of the time these two
words are used interchangeably. While brain is considered to be a physical
thing, mind is not. It is believed that the minds place is brain, but no one
has proved that yet.
So, coming back to the
query of “I”. ‘I’ am not the physical body, then! Physical body is there , only
, to manifest the “I” or whatever it is.
So, is the ‘Mind’ is what
we call ‘I’? Let me think. THINK? Who is thinking? Big question ? Normally,
people say, ‘thinking’ happens in ‘Mind’. It is generally agreed that mind is that
which enables a being to have subjective awareness and intentionality towards their environment, to perceive and respond to stimuli it receives from sense
organs and to have
consciousness, including thinking and feeling etc., So, whatever, my ‘thinking’ ,
‘expreiences’ etc., is the result of all
the stimuli , my sense organs receives and processed by the Mind, since , may
be from my birth or even earlier from inside my mother’s womb! *The mind is an
instrument of thinking and sensing on various levels. Mind is called the ‘inner
instrument’ or antahkarana in Sanskrit,
related to the body which is our outer instrument. The mind is looked upon as
the sixth sense after the five bodily senses and is regarded as an organ, not
our true being or the basis of our sense of self. The mind is a product of time
and outer experiences, which leave their characteristic marks upon it. So, Mind cannot be the ‘I’, since it appears only in relation to senses.
But, sometimes , it is ‘observed’ that there is some ‘entity’(inside or
outside, no idea) which seems to ‘see’
or ‘observing’ what I am thinking or doing without any involvement, as if some
cc camera is recording all the activity without any action or reaction to what
it is recording. Is it the ‘I’ that I am searching? I Think, some people call it ‘Consciousness’!
*Yoga regards consciousness, called Chit as something other
than the mind or Chitta . Chit is pure
consciousness unmodified by any mental activity. Chit is awareness of what is
called the Purusha, the inner Being, for which the mind is but a tool of
perception and expression.
Then,
the question is --- Is there no such thing as ‘I’ in my being? Only pure
consciousness and the physical body is simply
acting as a vehicle?
(Conclusion: think,
Still long way to go, before the mystery is revealed)
*italics -- taken from Yoga sutras.
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